Seriously. When I had Hunter I had a huge baby shower. I am completely grateful for it, and we had a fabulous time, but the best part about it was the DVD my Aunt Linda made of us celebrating the impending arrival of my firstborn child. As far as gifts go, the fact that everyone brought a package of diapers for a raffle was pretty awesome too. But the wipes warmer, bottle warmer, 3 different types of swings, and nine million newborn sized outfits? Not so much. Your baby may grow quickly and wear those outfits once! Buy a variety of sizes. All you need is your bed, a baby carrier, some diapers and a car seat and you're good to go. If you breastfeed, you won't even need bottles and all the paraphernalia that goes with them. It's nice to have a baby swing, too, but not completely necessary.
2. If you bottle feed, do it topless.
Why on earth did none of the hospitals I delivered at tell me to do skin-to-skin with my babies? If you are bottle feeding, you can do so just as easily without your shirt on! This is easy and will help with bonding. Kangaroo care is done to help regulate the heart and respiration of preemies, so why wouldn't it help a full term infant? This is second nature if you are nursing, but seriously all moms (and dads!) can do skin-to-skin!
3. If you are breastfeeding, go into it with the idea that you WILL succeed.
If you go into it with the idea that you are "trying it out to see if it works" the free formula samples will be calling your name before your milk even comes in. You really owe it to yourself and your baby to be committed. Don't even keep those samples in the house "just in case". If you will be going back to work at some point, worry about purchasing bottles later. Be prepared that for a learning curve for both you and the baby, that things will likely be difficult the first 6 weeks or so, but that they will get better and it will be WORTH IT!
I have written about Dylan's and my saga in this post.
4. If the baby is pooping and peeing, he is getting enough milk.
Don't worry about the scale too much. What goes in must come out.
5. When it comes to sleep, do what works for your child as an individual.
Notice I did not say, do what works for YOU. Your baby does not know you prefer 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. We never allowed any baby to cry-it-out. However, things are easier for all involved if you don't go against the grain of your baby's temperament. Hunter slept just fine beside our bed in his bassinet. I could roll the thing into the living room and vacuum around him and he'd peacefully nap. He transitioned to a crib in his own room without protest at 3 months of age. Do I think it is ideal for babies to sleep alone, away from their parents, at this young age? No. But Hunter was pretty easy-going as a baby, and nobody really struggled. Enter Jules. She hated the bassinet and I was completely confused. Trying to make her sleep in it was an exercise in frustration, and we all had an easier time just bringing her into our bed. With Harley and Dylan we co-slept, knowing that there were benefits to this. Harley was in the Arm's Reach Co-sleeper beside our bed and Dylan has been nestled beside me almost from day 1.
6. Babywear and do not worry about spoiling your baby.
One of the biggest frustrations new parents face is the myriad of unsolicited and often unwise advice. After that, it's the fact that having a newborn makes it hard to get things done as they like to be held most of the time. Please hold your baby. A lot. They NEED human interaction, and they get lonely or bored and just want to cuddle sometimes. This is as much of a need as the need for food or a diaper change. If you have things you need to get done, which happens, we are all human and life outside of baby exists, wear him or her close to you in a wrap or sling. Here are The Cliff Notes of Babywearing.
7. Postpartum hormones are a bitch.
That is all. This is not explainable until you actually have the child, but do watch out for warning signs of PPD. There is help available, it does not mean you are anything but a loving parent. But do expect the tears to flow shortly after giving birth, even in the absence of PPD.
8. The best shower you will ever have in your entire life is the one you take right after giving birth.
9. Don't start solids too early.
Most importantly, don't put cereal in a bottle in hopes your baby will sleep through the night. This practice is dangerous as it is a choking hazard. Early introduction of solids is associated with increased risk of obesity, diabetes, food allergies and constipation. Babies are fine on breastmilk or formula the first 6 months of life, according to guidelines by both the AAP and WHO.
10. Be prepared to love your baby to the point that it's painful.
This may not happen right away, especially if you have PPD. And it's definitely more intense when those social smiles and coos begin. But mothering is crazy emotional. It's a "jump in front of a moving train for your kid without hesitation" kind of love that almost defies logic.
11. Last but not least, find an awesome group of like-minded mamas who will encourage you through this journey. This is a roller coaster ride, and it's a lot more fun with friends who are going through what you are on a daily basis!
It may not be easy, but I promise, it will be worth it. I may not love every moment with my children. Sometimes they frustrate the hell out of me. But I love my life. I love my family. And I wouldn't change a thing...
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