The Ugly Side of Cry-It-Out

So I'm a bit down on society right now, and that will reflect in my posts. You've been warned!

For example, there's Cry-it-Out (CIO). I cannot stand CIO. I've never resorted to this practice of leaving an infant alone, crying, in hopes that he or she would eventually stop. This article summarizes the dangers of CIO, but here are a few reasons why it would never work for me as a mother.

1. It's mean. I don't know when it happened exactly, but sometime in the generation where "children should be seen but not heard" someone decided that babies are not people, with genuine feelings. That as long as their diaper is clean and they are fed and not physically ill,  it's ok to let them wail themselves to sleep. How would you like to be left alone, helpless and hysterical? And since when is it OK for adults to have emotions such as loneliness or boredom, but not OK for a little baby?

2. It threatens my attachment with my child. Forming a bond with a primary caregiver is vital in terms of human development, despite what Ferber or Babywise would have you believe. And in early childhood, attachment is formed by attentiveness and responding to your baby's needs. Crying is communication, not manipulation!

3. It's not natural. There is a reason why the sound of a baby- especially a newborn- crying is so distressing for adults.  You were given the instinct to comfort your baby, mama. Use it! In non-western cultures they are shocked at how long it takes for us to respond to our babies.

4. It may be dangerous. Excessive cortisol is found in the brains of babies left to cry alone. Interestingly, less cortisol is found in babies who are crying in the arms of a parent, such as with colic. I have read comments on articles about CIO where parents casually mention that the baby cried till they threw up. This is obviously risky, and if you are leaving a baby to cry for that long and that hard, that is child abuse.

5. It does not foster independence, as some would have you believe.  The opposite is true. Children will become independent in their own time. Expecting a little baby to be independent after spending 9 months cuddled in the womb is a bit ridiculous and completely counterintuitive.

So there you have it, the Cliff Notes on why I hate CIO. I have lots to say on this subject, but I'll end with this. Parenting is not always going to be convenient. When you're doing something as important as raising a human being, you gotta expect some hard work is going to be involved. There are lots of creative ways for everyone to get some sleep without resorting to CIO.

Stay tuned!